At the Intersection of Insecurity and Confidence
Dear
Girlfriends,
Remember my
girlfriend Connie, who sat at the intersection of Resentment and Forgiveness?
Well, during our lunchtime conversation several weeks back, in addition to the
story about forgiving her mom, Connie shared with me about the season in her
life when she sat paralyzed at the intersection of Insecurity and Confidence. I
am so happy I can share with you another profound lesson from this very wise
woman.
A mother of
four, Connie stayed home with their children while her husband built a
successful career. Socializing and networking were critical to his advancement,
but the circles in which her husband worked included people who were both
incredibly creative and highly educated. Connie felt like an outcast to these
interesting characters. Her perception was that because she stayed home with
the kiddos, she added little to no value to the conversations. Over time, her
confidence plummeted; her sense of self-worth cratered.
Having
dropped out of college to have children, Connie's insecurity ultimately led to
jealousy and her jealousy led to accusations. The accusations led to an ongoing
argument that poisoned the atmosphere of their home and the future of their marriage.
For nearly 20
years, Connie came to this same intersection, always turning onto Insecurity
rather than taking a proactive approach to address her issues. But it all changed when she elected to take a part-time
job at a community college. Working in the counselors' office exposed Connie to
coursework and degree plans, and this new information inspired Connie to return
to the classroom. Over a period of ten years, taking one course at a
time, Connie earned her Bachelor's degree...and
her voice. Her maturity and life experience made her the teacher's pet and,
along with her good grades, gave her a newfound confidence that she did have
something important to share with the rest of the world. And, her education
afforded her the opportunity to make an impact for humanity.
On a roll,
Connie went on to complete her Master's degree. Attending classes on Saturdays
and grinding through evening courses, Connie was an example of grit and
determination as she studied side-by-side with her teenage children. Connie's
self-assurance fueled her and re-ignited her marriage; she and her husband will
celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary this June (oh, they are the
cutest couple you've ever seen!).
"The important thing
is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are
for what we could
become." - Charles Dubois
Are you
sick of driving around and around Insecurity
Circle? Perhaps it's time to change that one thing that keeps you from being the
person you were destined to be. Perhaps it's time to let go of self-doubt for the
pride in accomplishment. Perhaps it's time to boost the low self-esteem that not
only threatens the quality of your life, but the quality of life of those you
love.
Confidently
yours,
Ellen
Posted by Ellen on April 30, 2008 9:02 PM
| Category: Crossroads
|
